Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Confidence and dealing with attention

I get asked about how to keep up self confidence while getting odd looks and mean comments while wearing lolita and other alternative fashion. The sad reality is that when we decide to wear something that makes us stand out from the crowd, people notice us. That's how it works. It can be hard to deal with attention (especially in the beginning), but I share some tips and experiences in this week's video. Here are some of them:

- Try to distract yourself from the attention you're getting. Take friends with you, even if they're wearing "normal" things they'll still help you have fun by planning where to go next etc. (Though if they're eye catching too, they divide the attention between all of you).
- If you're alone, try talking on the pone or listening to music or podcasts. Keep yourself occupied, especially if you're just sitting on the bus or waiting.
- Try to take quizzical looks as a good thing. The person looking at you probably haven't seen something like you before, and is just admiring your looks and bravery! They just can't communicate it well. Not all looks are evil / condescending glares.
- Try to ignore mean comments and try not to shoot back. They're probably just having a bad day, so the vehemence they're showing is not directed you but to something else they can't project it to. 
- It gets better with time and experience.

Though there is no magic trick to make it all perfect, it takes practice. And patience. And ability to ignore the trolls and concentrate on the positive (because there is a lot of positive attention too). So let's just keep at it! <3

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